I probably haven't told you about the bathroom soap madness because why would I? See, for whatever reason, Horizon has evolved this culture where people bring in hand soap and moisturizer for the entire floor. So behind every sink (each of which has a perfectly usable soap dispenser, by the by) you'll find at least one brought-from-home dispenser. Some floors, mine included, also have baskets full of soap and lotion and other restroom accoutrements. We have a dried flower display. The 14th floor has little pots of bamboo. That means that some woman on every floor takes it upon herself to buy soap for everyone on the floor - unreimbursed. I know for a fact that they're doing this on their own dime because the woman who buys the soap for our floor went to one of the executive assistants trying to get reimbursed, and after she got shot down the exec. asst. went around telling everyone how crazy it was...but seriously, she was not going to reimburse this woman for something the landlord already provides for free. I have no idea how this happened, but I find it fascinating. I have no idea what would drive someone to do something like this. Decorating your cubicle I get. Decorating the restroom? Notsomuch.
Obviously I'm talking about the ladies rooms here. I seriously doubt these goings on are going on in the mens rooms. I also think it's worth noting that no one has found it necessary to decorate the ladies locker room.
So, clearly, the woman who keeps buying soap for our floor is very emotionally invested in the bathroom soap. I don't know her name or her job, but I frequently encounter her in the ladies room futzing with the soap bottles. She straightens the bottles. She rearranges them on the counter. She takes inventory. Periodically, she finds that one is missing. Then she tacks very specific signs to the mirrors. Like so:
- Please return the cucumber-melon soap. It is not yours.
- Please do not throw out the empty soap bottles. Horizon does not provide them.
- - Please stop taking the soaps. Horizon does not provide them. If you like them so much, they're $2 at Target. Go buy your own.
- Will whomever "borrowed" the pomegranate soap please return it. Horizon
does not provide the soaps and lotions.
Number 3 was my personal favorite. I seriously took extra trips to the ladies room that week just to read that sign. Also, the sign about not throwing out the empty bottles gets posted a lot. I guess she's refilling the bottles? I can't figure out why else she wouldn't want them thrown out.
Also, I don't think anyone is "borrowing" the soaps because, seriously, who cares. It seems more likely that the cleaning women see the empty bottles and throw them out because they are garbage.
EXCEPT...a day or two after sign 4 appeared (so, Thursday?) I was in the ladies room late in the day, and I saw this girl walk out of a stall CARRYING THE POMEGRANATE SOAP!!!!!
I know, right?
