My arch-nemesis has issues. 7/24/2002
Matt: quite a quandry
Matt: (like my use of 'q' :-)
Me: :-)
Me: yes
Me: it was very cute
Me: is it the letter of the day?
Me: like on sesame street?
Matt: it can be
Matt: :-)
Matt: would you like to use it, to show our audience
Matt: the proper use of the letter q
Me: I would love to
Me: this is a big "Q"
Me: this is a little "q"
Me: the letter Q is found in lots of fun words
Me: like Queen (which means me)
Me: and Quint (which means 5)
Me: and Quickie
Matt: :-)
Matt: your fav
Matt: :-)
Me: which is my favorite Q word of all
Me: except maybe Qusex, but you didn't hear that from me
Me: ;-)
Matt: :-)
Matt: is qusex really a word?
Me: shut up
Me: I thought it was funny
Matt: it is
Matt: just wondering if it really was a word
Me: no
Matt: I don't have the english major vocab
Matt: :-)
Matt: it is a wonderful word :0
Matt: :-)
Matt: so what should tomorrows letter be?
Me: oh
Me: you have to do the lesson tomorrow
Me: I will pick the letter
Me: ...
Me: umm...
Matt: :-)
Matt: be careful
Matt: this could spell disaster
Me: It's a difficult decision
Me: I know
Matt: for the entire world
Matt: one wrong move
Me: I don't want to pick a really obvious
Me: shut up
Matt: and KABLAMMM
Matt: :-)
Me: I hate you
Me: ok
Me: K
Me: I choose
Me: K
Me: (I was going to choose m, for monkey, or c, for cookie...but then I chose k, for I dunno what)
Matt: :-)
Matt: okay
Matt: I think the worlds going KABLAMM even as we speak
Matt: :
Matt: :-)
Matt: get it
Me: NOOOO
Matt: K for KABLAMM
Me: that is a crappy sesame street lesson, matty
Matt: well, its tomorrows lesson
Matt: I just had to take advantage of your lapse in letter choice
Matt: to blow up the wrold
Matt: :-)
Me: *whimper*
Matt: (making it your fault)
Matt: :-)
Monday, April 14, 2003
makin copies 4/19/2002
Making copies, when you're a temp, is a lot like using a urinal. You don't know anyone else who might walk into the copy room, so you all stare blankly at the copiers or your originals. There's only one copier in the office I'm in now, so we all stare at the walls and read the guidelines for opening potentially hazardous mail. I suppose that sign's there to make us feel like we work someplace exciting. It can't be there to protect us from the mail. I mean, who opens their mail in the copy room? Or maybe Administration is aware of the urinal effect.
I have lots of time to think about this because, being a temp, I make lots of copies. As I write this, I've been making copies for 2 hours, and I think I have at least another half-hour to go. I'm trying to keep a tally, but now I don't remember if I've made 200 or 225 copies. (It's a 15 page packet, hence the 2 hours.) QED, I dunno if I have 25 or 50 to go. I've been making the copies in sets of 25 because otherwise I have to keep interrupting the job when other people walk in and have to use the copier.
Dude, if that ever happens with urinals, I don't want to know about it. Anyway, this one guy has walked into the copy room twice, and he keeps talking to me. He probably talks to other guys when he's peeing, too.
I hate that guy.
Anyway, the first time he came in, he was telling me how tired he gets when he has to make a lot of copies. I won't bother to apply that to my urinal analogy because that's just disgusting. The second time, he suggested I bring a book in the copy room to keep myself amused. I will apply this advice to the urinal analogy. I can just picture it at the end of one of those teen movies where everyone actually cares about the school paper so there are all these shots of the main characters reading "the big important, career-making article" at the end.
Scene: Johnny walks through the hall, reading The Review. He passes Blane, Mack, Amaya, and Karlene, also reading the paper. Devon's voice is heard, reading her article)
Devon: I have learned, in my undercover assignment as a slut, [Johnny walks into the boys room, still reading the paper and approaches a urinal.] that we all have feelings. [Johnny unzips fly, refolds paper so he can hold it up with his free hand, and continues reading as he pees.] Two months ago, I never would have talked to any of the sluts I befriended [Johnny jiggles] but now I realize how little that matters, and I am proud to say that some of my best friends are total sluts. [At this point, Johnny should zip up. Since one hand is occupied, I'm tempted to say he gets caught in his fly, but, since it's so late in the movie, he should probably just exit the boys room and walk out into the sunshine, where we switch to a wide shot so we can see everyone in the school reading the paper at the same time.]
Making copies, when you're a temp, is a lot like using a urinal. You don't know anyone else who might walk into the copy room, so you all stare blankly at the copiers or your originals. There's only one copier in the office I'm in now, so we all stare at the walls and read the guidelines for opening potentially hazardous mail. I suppose that sign's there to make us feel like we work someplace exciting. It can't be there to protect us from the mail. I mean, who opens their mail in the copy room? Or maybe Administration is aware of the urinal effect.
I have lots of time to think about this because, being a temp, I make lots of copies. As I write this, I've been making copies for 2 hours, and I think I have at least another half-hour to go. I'm trying to keep a tally, but now I don't remember if I've made 200 or 225 copies. (It's a 15 page packet, hence the 2 hours.) QED, I dunno if I have 25 or 50 to go. I've been making the copies in sets of 25 because otherwise I have to keep interrupting the job when other people walk in and have to use the copier.
Dude, if that ever happens with urinals, I don't want to know about it. Anyway, this one guy has walked into the copy room twice, and he keeps talking to me. He probably talks to other guys when he's peeing, too.
I hate that guy.
Anyway, the first time he came in, he was telling me how tired he gets when he has to make a lot of copies. I won't bother to apply that to my urinal analogy because that's just disgusting. The second time, he suggested I bring a book in the copy room to keep myself amused. I will apply this advice to the urinal analogy. I can just picture it at the end of one of those teen movies where everyone actually cares about the school paper so there are all these shots of the main characters reading "the big important, career-making article" at the end.
Scene: Johnny walks through the hall, reading The Review. He passes Blane, Mack, Amaya, and Karlene, also reading the paper. Devon's voice is heard, reading her article)
Devon: I have learned, in my undercover assignment as a slut, [Johnny walks into the boys room, still reading the paper and approaches a urinal.] that we all have feelings. [Johnny unzips fly, refolds paper so he can hold it up with his free hand, and continues reading as he pees.] Two months ago, I never would have talked to any of the sluts I befriended [Johnny jiggles] but now I realize how little that matters, and I am proud to say that some of my best friends are total sluts. [At this point, Johnny should zip up. Since one hand is occupied, I'm tempted to say he gets caught in his fly, but, since it's so late in the movie, he should probably just exit the boys room and walk out into the sunshine, where we switch to a wide shot so we can see everyone in the school reading the paper at the same time.]
Why I love Matt 12/2/2001
Reason #I've-lost-count why I love Matt. We started out talking about my senior send-off tonight.
Matt: sounds like you had a good time
Me: yeah
Me: it was good
Me: but sad
Matt: yeah, really brings the last semester thing home
Matt: doesn't it
Me: yeah, it does
Me: when I made my senior speech for marching band
Me: it was sad
Me: but I knew I still had some time left
Me: and I would still see these people again
Me: now, this was the last meeting, and we have our writing fellows final party on thursday
Matt: unfortunately time keeps ticking away
Me: and then I'll be done
Me: I know
Me: I wish it would just give me a little break
Me: just a little one
Me: so I can get myself together
Matt: that's what Christmas is for I guess
Me: yeah
Me: this semester just flew by
Me: and since we've been together, things have been going double-speed
Matt: true
Me: I feel like I'm going to blink, and this will all be over
Matt: I'll still be here when you open your eyes :-)
Reason #I've-lost-count why I love Matt. We started out talking about my senior send-off tonight.
Matt: sounds like you had a good time
Me: yeah
Me: it was good
Me: but sad
Matt: yeah, really brings the last semester thing home
Matt: doesn't it
Me: yeah, it does
Me: when I made my senior speech for marching band
Me: it was sad
Me: but I knew I still had some time left
Me: and I would still see these people again
Me: now, this was the last meeting, and we have our writing fellows final party on thursday
Matt: unfortunately time keeps ticking away
Me: and then I'll be done
Me: I know
Me: I wish it would just give me a little break
Me: just a little one
Me: so I can get myself together
Matt: that's what Christmas is for I guess
Me: yeah
Me: this semester just flew by
Me: and since we've been together, things have been going double-speed
Matt: true
Me: I feel like I'm going to blink, and this will all be over
Matt: I'll still be here when you open your eyes :-)
If I were a turkey buzzard... 10/22/2001
My parents and Grandma Marguerite were here this weekend. That's always amusing. We went for a ride yesterday, and I dragged Ben along. He and my father talked about networks for a while. Very animated conversation, especially for Ben. Ben doesn't talk much.
Anyway, we went to have a picnic by a river, so of course my mom whips out the binoculars. She's obsessed with binoculars. Anyway, this group of turkey buzzards started circling about over a cliff behind us. We all had to look at them through the binoculars, although Ben wasn't too good at looking through the binoculars. He could never see anything. I decided that, if I were a turkey buzzard, I'd circle around a few times to attract other turkey buzzards. Then I'd be like "Haha! Suckers!" and I'd fly off.
There were all these yellowjackets about. My grandma just couldn't handle that. I notice, as she gets older, everything annoys her. Anyway, we were trying to get these yellowjackets. My mom was smashing them with a bag of pretzels. Ben and I trapped them in empty snapple bottles. Ben liked mine better because it was diet. He says the bees fly in looking for iced tea, and then they think, "eww, it's diet!" Then they would realize they were trapped...with diet snapple. Then they'd be really pissed. I don't quite understand why you want them to be pissed, especially since Ben insists on unscrewing the caps before he throws out the bottles because the bugs have "learned their lesson" and deserve to be free. It's cute, though.
My parents and Grandma Marguerite were here this weekend. That's always amusing. We went for a ride yesterday, and I dragged Ben along. He and my father talked about networks for a while. Very animated conversation, especially for Ben. Ben doesn't talk much.
Anyway, we went to have a picnic by a river, so of course my mom whips out the binoculars. She's obsessed with binoculars. Anyway, this group of turkey buzzards started circling about over a cliff behind us. We all had to look at them through the binoculars, although Ben wasn't too good at looking through the binoculars. He could never see anything. I decided that, if I were a turkey buzzard, I'd circle around a few times to attract other turkey buzzards. Then I'd be like "Haha! Suckers!" and I'd fly off.
There were all these yellowjackets about. My grandma just couldn't handle that. I notice, as she gets older, everything annoys her. Anyway, we were trying to get these yellowjackets. My mom was smashing them with a bag of pretzels. Ben and I trapped them in empty snapple bottles. Ben liked mine better because it was diet. He says the bees fly in looking for iced tea, and then they think, "eww, it's diet!" Then they would realize they were trapped...with diet snapple. Then they'd be really pissed. I don't quite understand why you want them to be pissed, especially since Ben insists on unscrewing the caps before he throws out the bottles because the bugs have "learned their lesson" and deserve to be free. It's cute, though.
Wednesday, April 09, 2003
the job that wouldn't die... 6/20/2001
So, two years ago, I was a camp counselor. It sucked. Not that I didn't like the kids. I did. They were cool. Well, they were as cool as one can be in middle school. They amused me. We'll put it that way. Anyway, they got ahold of my screen name (2 of them are related to the people who ran the camp, who have my email address...) and for a while they were all messaging me all the time. It was a little frustrating. None of them seemed to understand the concept of an away message. Anyway, 2 years later, only 2 of them ever message me, and it's pretty infrequent. One of them is now drunk, so he comes to me for advice.
Kiddie: oh guess what
Me: what?
Me: chicken butt?
Kiddie: i had to much to drink hehe that ryhmes
Me: hmm
Me: where were you drinking?
Kiddie: well i had 2 kahula skrews and 3 tequilas
Me: 3 shots?
Kiddie: yeah hehe
Me: oh dear
Kiddie: im so happy haha thats fubnny
Me: you sound happy
Kiddie: ppphhhh this is to cool
Me: are you at a party?
Kiddie: i was yeah haha
Kiddie: is there anything that gets rid of the effect that im feeling now other than mroe drink
Me: what effect?
Me: are you not feeling well?
Kiddie: the sudden blackouts and the stomach aches and headache
Me: oh dear
Me: yes
Me: drink water
Me: lots of water
Me: and eat bread
Kiddie: why?
Me: Because it will make you feel better. (hopefully)
Kiddie: good good i like thta
Kiddie: good idea
Me: otherwise, you just have to wait until (if) you throw up
Kiddie: oh thats not good
Me: no
Kiddie: wait new problem
Kiddie: why is everything like spinning
Me: umm...you're drunk
Me: that's why
Kiddie: oh got it
Me: the spinning is what makes you throw up, dear
Kiddie: oh i see now uh oh
Me: you ok?
Kiddie: kinda
Me: drink some water
Kiddie: okay
*sigh*
In better news, I got some freelance work today. *yay* I get $25/hr, which is pretty exciting.
So, two years ago, I was a camp counselor. It sucked. Not that I didn't like the kids. I did. They were cool. Well, they were as cool as one can be in middle school. They amused me. We'll put it that way. Anyway, they got ahold of my screen name (2 of them are related to the people who ran the camp, who have my email address...) and for a while they were all messaging me all the time. It was a little frustrating. None of them seemed to understand the concept of an away message. Anyway, 2 years later, only 2 of them ever message me, and it's pretty infrequent. One of them is now drunk, so he comes to me for advice.
Kiddie: oh guess what
Me: what?
Me: chicken butt?
Kiddie: i had to much to drink hehe that ryhmes
Me: hmm
Me: where were you drinking?
Kiddie: well i had 2 kahula skrews and 3 tequilas
Me: 3 shots?
Kiddie: yeah hehe
Me: oh dear
Kiddie: im so happy haha thats fubnny
Me: you sound happy
Kiddie: ppphhhh this is to cool
Me: are you at a party?
Kiddie: i was yeah haha
Kiddie: is there anything that gets rid of the effect that im feeling now other than mroe drink
Me: what effect?
Me: are you not feeling well?
Kiddie: the sudden blackouts and the stomach aches and headache
Me: oh dear
Me: yes
Me: drink water
Me: lots of water
Me: and eat bread
Kiddie: why?
Me: Because it will make you feel better. (hopefully)
Kiddie: good good i like thta
Kiddie: good idea
Me: otherwise, you just have to wait until (if) you throw up
Kiddie: oh thats not good
Me: no
Kiddie: wait new problem
Kiddie: why is everything like spinning
Me: umm...you're drunk
Me: that's why
Kiddie: oh got it
Me: the spinning is what makes you throw up, dear
Kiddie: oh i see now uh oh
Me: you ok?
Kiddie: kinda
Me: drink some water
Kiddie: okay
*sigh*
In better news, I got some freelance work today. *yay* I get $25/hr, which is pretty exciting.
you're a nice guy? I doubt it... 2/19/2001
I am getting just a bit tired of all these guys bitching to me that they can't find a girl when this campus is, what, 70% female. They all say the same damn thing, too. "Girls just don't go for nice guys like me."
Let me tell you a little something about nice guys. Nice guys do not ask you about your boyfriend and then ask you to come over and "see what happens." Nice guys do not try to pick girls up at parties by telling them about the time they almost died of alcohol poisoning. Nice guys do not write obsessive love sonnets about girls they've never talked to. Nice guys don't ask you to come over to pose nude. Nice guys do not tell you that you should feel free to explore your emotions with them after you tell them you're not interested. Nice guys can take no for an answer, and, yes, they frequently do. EVERYONE gets rejected once in a while, even that perfect girl you've had on a pedestal for the last 3 months.
Yes, girls want nice guys who love to cuddle and appreciate the beauty of a woman in jeans and an old teeshirt, but they don't want guys who think this is their best character trait. They don't want to be the focal point of your life, especially if they don't know you. Yes, they want someone who listens, but not someone who expects credit for listening. They appreciate someone who can make them feel pretty more than someone who tells them they are. They don't want to be put on a pedestal. They want to be appreciated for who they are. This is (admittedly) very different from your inflated view of her, but that is how she wants to be loved. She will not save you from your desperation. In fact, it's driving her away...
*sigh*
I am getting just a bit tired of all these guys bitching to me that they can't find a girl when this campus is, what, 70% female. They all say the same damn thing, too. "Girls just don't go for nice guys like me."
Let me tell you a little something about nice guys. Nice guys do not ask you about your boyfriend and then ask you to come over and "see what happens." Nice guys do not try to pick girls up at parties by telling them about the time they almost died of alcohol poisoning. Nice guys do not write obsessive love sonnets about girls they've never talked to. Nice guys don't ask you to come over to pose nude. Nice guys do not tell you that you should feel free to explore your emotions with them after you tell them you're not interested. Nice guys can take no for an answer, and, yes, they frequently do. EVERYONE gets rejected once in a while, even that perfect girl you've had on a pedestal for the last 3 months.
Yes, girls want nice guys who love to cuddle and appreciate the beauty of a woman in jeans and an old teeshirt, but they don't want guys who think this is their best character trait. They don't want to be the focal point of your life, especially if they don't know you. Yes, they want someone who listens, but not someone who expects credit for listening. They appreciate someone who can make them feel pretty more than someone who tells them they are. They don't want to be put on a pedestal. They want to be appreciated for who they are. This is (admittedly) very different from your inflated view of her, but that is how she wants to be loved. She will not save you from your desperation. In fact, it's driving her away...
*sigh*
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