makin copies 4/19/2002
Making copies, when you're a temp, is a lot like using a urinal. You don't know anyone else who might walk into the copy room, so you all stare blankly at the copiers or your originals. There's only one copier in the office I'm in now, so we all stare at the walls and read the guidelines for opening potentially hazardous mail. I suppose that sign's there to make us feel like we work someplace exciting. It can't be there to protect us from the mail. I mean, who opens their mail in the copy room? Or maybe Administration is aware of the urinal effect.
I have lots of time to think about this because, being a temp, I make lots of copies. As I write this, I've been making copies for 2 hours, and I think I have at least another half-hour to go. I'm trying to keep a tally, but now I don't remember if I've made 200 or 225 copies. (It's a 15 page packet, hence the 2 hours.) QED, I dunno if I have 25 or 50 to go. I've been making the copies in sets of 25 because otherwise I have to keep interrupting the job when other people walk in and have to use the copier.

Dude, if that ever happens with urinals, I don't want to know about it. Anyway, this one guy has walked into the copy room twice, and he keeps talking to me. He probably talks to other guys when he's peeing, too.

I hate that guy.

Anyway, the first time he came in, he was telling me how tired he gets when he has to make a lot of copies. I won't bother to apply that to my urinal analogy because that's just disgusting. The second time, he suggested I bring a book in the copy room to keep myself amused. I will apply this advice to the urinal analogy. I can just picture it at the end of one of those teen movies where everyone actually cares about the school paper so there are all these shots of the main characters reading "the big important, career-making article" at the end.

Scene: Johnny walks through the hall, reading The Review. He passes Blane, Mack, Amaya, and Karlene, also reading the paper. Devon's voice is heard, reading her article)

Devon: I have learned, in my undercover assignment as a slut, [Johnny walks into the boys room, still reading the paper and approaches a urinal.] that we all have feelings. [Johnny unzips fly, refolds paper so he can hold it up with his free hand, and continues reading as he pees.] Two months ago, I never would have talked to any of the sluts I befriended [Johnny jiggles] but now I realize how little that matters, and I am proud to say that some of my best friends are total sluts. [At this point, Johnny should zip up. Since one hand is occupied, I'm tempted to say he gets caught in his fly, but, since it's so late in the movie, he should probably just exit the boys room and walk out into the sunshine, where we switch to a wide shot so we can see everyone in the school reading the paper at the same time.]